From Krabi to Tonsai: Tiger Temple and Hippie Town

Krabi is a welcome break from the excess materialism of Bangkok.  Taking an overnight bus with a little blue pill, I awoke in Krabi. At the bus station I took another bus into town, after realizing it would be too hot and too far with my bag and I arrived at Blue Juice hotel.  The ever helpful Neung, owner, set me up in a pink room with a fan. Krabi Town with it's cute little stores, sleepy atmosphere during the day and bustling night market on the river and the longtail boats in the river.

"They say a dream is like a river, ever changing as it flows" and so I flowed quiet nicely in Krabi for one night. In the morning I climbed the1260 steps to the tiger temple, just outside of the town. Perspective. From the top of the mountain sits a golden Buddha.  Looking out around in 360 degrees to the sea, farm land and the limestone mountains in the distance. As I sat before the Golden Buddha, one of the temple dogs came to give me love and sat next to me as I soaked in the moment covered in sweat. After a photo session with some monkeys in the trees behind the Buddha, I descended step by step back to the Wat (temple) below.

In the courtyard of the Wat was a great statue of the goddess Kuan Yin, the goddess of compassion.  She loomed over me with her blue vase ever flowing with limitless compassion for all. Then I followed the signs into the jungle that said "wonderland".

Into wonderland and there I found a half dome cave.  One that I immediately recognized for a dream I had years ago. I had the dream over the course of a few nights, and it was so unique that I was transported to the dream again. I felt awakened and saw it in a different viewpoint that before.  In the dream, I was with a group of people. It was a time of great flux. My companion and I had gone to the cave for safe harbor. It felt like the uncertainty had to do with a natural disaster, a prophesy coming true. When we got to the cave my companion told me he was leaving. I tried to convince him not to go but, he left. Then there was a big flash of light. And then, I went out into the jungle to find him, but he was gone. I returned to the cave, missing my companion but still with a will that we would meet again.

Back at the cave I realized something I had missed years before when trying to decipher the meaning of the dream. I thought my companion had left me, abandoned me when I needed him most. But now, taking my own path to this cave I came to a realization I have known all along. The Buddha talks a lot about suffering, how the root of attachment is suffering and how no one can save us but ourselves. We alone heal ourselves. We each walk our path alone. We each have our own hole of suffering and no one person can make that suffering less. I've always been around good people who I love and love me, but still at times can feel alone. As I sat at the cave, thinking how much I had grown since that dream. There were expectations that didn't come to fruition, people I let down and people who "let" me down. And as at I sat at the cave I realized once again, it all ok, it's part of me and my story, we just all have our own path and can have a bit of Kuan Yin compassion for each others paths and for ourselves and forgiveness. Then a black cat came up and snuggled with me. The tiger temple, the tiger caves where tigers had once lived with monks. Pretty magical.

From Krabi, I headed to Railay. "Go to the beach, walk through the jungle and you'll find Tonsai." Tired from the Tiger Temple, boat trip and heat, I walked to the beach and began my ascent up into the jungle. Then I met Stan. Stan, being the man offered to carry my bag through the jungle and showed me how to get to Tonsai. My mind and body racing and hot, a bit of overheating I rushed to the beach after finding a place to stay. The water was warm, but I found shade and slept. I needed more sleep, my head still hurt. dehydrated. The next day, I found my second home in Tonsai, a bungalow on stilts more in the jungle. For the next few days I enjoyed the beauty of Tonsai, it's community of rock climbers and hippies from all around the globe. I reflected on life and my path, looked at the emotions I no longer wished to carry. I ate well and got massages, I meditated and did the circle hike from Tonsai to Railay to Tonsai. I swam in the ocean and chose my next destination.  Koh Lanta.

Tonsai is a happy village, it's like living in a festival. Artists draw and paint on the concrete wall that separates Tonsai from the beach.The graffiti artists write inspiring, funny or weird messages to one another. The Rock Climbers with their rock solid bodies, torn up and and thirst to summit talk about their climbs and experiences and sometimes complain. But tomorrow is another day, and they will climb higher, they will over come the mountain.



And then after a healing few days in Tonsai and the jungle, I headed south to Koh Lanta. Nicknamed the lucky island because during the last tsunami very few were injured or killed. Looking for the luck of finding a job diving or possibly finding something more.

Bangkok Dreams

Bangkok is like a dream, the culmination of dreams of all beings.  It seems you can get anything you want here, in abundance (except good Mexican food or so I hear).

One of my first days in the city I walked around a park at sunset.  There was a lake with a fountain that no longer works.  People were jogging, doing exercises and chilled out around the lake.  As the sun set a beautiful glow hit the air and a mantra song for the king was played on a loud speaker.  People stood up if sitting, stopped mid motion with their exercises and jogging and just stood still throughout the song.  It was if time had stopped. The buzzing of park paused, paying homage to the king and the kingdom and then just a suddenly the frenzy began again.

I journeyed further into the park.  The next scene was 6 kids dancing on a stage to stanky leg, nay nay.  The 6 became one with their break dance routine.  When the song suddenly stopped there was clapping and then the song and routine began again. Play, pause, rewind and play.

I am an outsider to this dream, but still a part of it. My dreams sometimes be quiet vivid.  Colors, sounds and sometimes strong smells and once in a while when I am very lucky laughter- so much that I figure my sleeping body must be laughing too.  Sometimes my dreams are darker. Fears, repetitions or things I have forgotten are shown to me.  I am getting better at stopping the dream, telling myself this is a dream and when I am really lucid I will the thing I've forgotten to be here now or I simply wake up.  In waking life I look at those repetitions and the fears embedded in them, examine the emotion.  I decide if it's my fear and if so I meditate on releasing it.


I am slowly learning basic Thai.  Hello, thank you, I like it very much, a little sugar and counting to ten always makes me laugh. Nung, song, saam, si, ha (it's always ha that gets me going), hooak, jet (smile coming on), pbaat (a bit confused on the sound of the pb), gow (laughing again) and sip.  I have heard that thai is like a song.  A sing song rhythm with words and phrases my ears are gasping to decipher in thin air.

Bangkok is a huge city. The flow of walking is so much like my old home years ago- New York City, but unlike NYC Bangkok has a better walking flow.  The people are smaller than Americans, but there are so many people. Maybe because of their multitudes, walking is more like floating and flowing with the traffic.  People are more aware of their space and others. They seem more awake to others and their surrounding. This awareness adds to this floating flowing walking meditation.


Traffic can become a nightmare.  Luckily I was never stuck for too long in a car and perhaps because I drove a van for a few years I am ok with life in the slow lane.

My first day in Bangkok I took the fast lane.  I went to see my friend Ya in another part of town.  I was staying in the infamous Khasan Road and he lives near a place called Fortune Teller.  For the experience, thrill and time management (it was that witching hour of mass transition know as rush hours) I (with Ya's help) found a motorcycle. I bobbed and weaved thru the traffic as the sun was setting and luckily the driver was bigger than me and had amazing spacial skills.  It was like flying thru traffic. A certain freedom with an element of fear.

Ya told me Thailand is a very spiritual place. I already was aware of it being a Buddhist country, but it's deeper than that with many customs that are new and vast superstition.  The attention to the detail of everything doesn't escape superstitions and spiritual practices.  Ya introduced me to spirit houses and why they are on almost every city block or parcel in Bangkok. The spirit houses give space for those lost spirits still holding on to this life, yet in between worlds. These little temples are adorned with marigolds and jasmine, sometimes fanta or rice has been laid out for these lost souls. The idea is for a special place for these lost ones, so that they interfere less with the waking reality of Thai life.

No, I haven't seen any spirits with my eyes, but I can feel their energy.  Much like a dream when a face appears but it doesn't match who that face represents, or the coldness in air, a pocket of air that feels different, or that quietness in a bustling street.  I am practicing awareness of these beautiful spirit houses, gently bowing to acknowledge them and see the beautiful Ganesh, Buddha or Shiva statues that can accompany them.  Recognizing something outside of myself is always a good practice and seeing the beautiful marigolds and jasmine flowers in a concrete jungle. There are flowers everywhere, just like all my favorite cities.

There is everything everywhere in Bangkok. Abundance and whatever you want and however much you want to pay. Looking for incense to cover up a stinky room took me less than a half a block to find.  I thought of it and it appeared. Walking the streets they sell everything you could possibly want or need.  Cats on a bag, cats on underwear, cats on purses? plenty of them and sometimes a mere 5 stalls away. (And yes there are so many cats in Bangkok- they are treated there is the belief they are the protectors of this world and beyond.) I also saw handguns for sale next to those cat bags, a bit disturbing but I continued on.

And sex, sex everywhere, you want? You have.  From street stalls full of play toys to prostitutes at all times of the day- to the 3rd sex- ladyboys- who I have just begun to recognize. Sex clubs and massage parlours with the occasion "no sex" "massage only" "no happy ending" signs attached. I watch my reaction to this different expression of sex.  And yes I have gotten massages (not that kind of course but the real deal- the Thai Massage) and quite a bit of them.  For about $6 an hour my body is happy -yet sometimes sore as these little ladies climb on top of me, standing and stretching my body. And it feels like a dream. Not painful but more awakening parts of my body.


One night in Bangkok, 4 of us went to Arabic town and had Egyptian food, because why not?  The spice road is alive and well with oils, caradmon, smells, gold and silver, silk items and anything you might want from another part of the world.  It's all here in Bangkok.

Bangkok is so different than the Caribbean and Latin countries I have lived in.  As a female fulong I move floating, almost invisible at times. Unless I am interested in buying something in this mysterious and overwhelming city I am left to my own journey.  It feels different and good, but not lonely at all.  In Havana, where I traveled last year I remember stopping almost every block and speaking with locals, practicing my Spanish- it's more reserved and shy in Thailand.


As I travel,  am reminded of all those beautiful souls I have encountered along the way.  There are adverts here to heal anything that ails you. And I wonder if these dream concoctions might heal those in pain far away from here. And gently wondering at times what it all means. And then I slip back into the Thai dream and experience it.  I am so thankful for this experience and those i meet along the way. I am grateful for those that believe in my dream and those who continue to follow their dreams as well.