Cycling Through Chiang Mai and Pai

I love to ride bicycles. Whenever I go somewhere new I try and rent a bike and explore the area. I love walking too, but the bicycle is the best way to figure out my bearings in a new place and get exercise in too. Life at about 5mph, sometimes a bit faster and sometimes a bit slower, cycling through new cities and life.

Chiang Mai is known for it's biking culture, most guidebooks will say rent a bike for 100 baht or less (about $3) for the day and prepared to get lost in the maze. The old city was once a walled city, only some of the wall remains at the gates and corner walls. Outside of the walled city sits a moat enclosing the squared city. Chiang Mai is the old capital of the Lanna kingdom and it's layout is based on ancient military and astrological beliefs. If one pays attention to where the sun is and what time it might be then you can never get too lost. Nature always has a way of helping us find our way.

Kelly met up with me in Chiang Mai just in time for the Thai new year, a water festival called songkran. Before the festival started we had one full day exploring the city by bike, before we would got soaked and waterlogged. Chiang Mai has over 300 Buddhist temples, or "wats" in Thai. As we were biking Kelly said, in her poet stream of consciousness way; "Wat! That's like watts in a light bulb. You know, like how they measure energy in a light bulb, the watt." She is forever explaining things, as she is in her Saturn return and understanding her life in a new way. "And wats, they are like big energy sources- spreading the light." True Kelly, true.


Life is a pattern of cycles and stages. The cyclical symbolism is present all around as we fly through space on a blue sphere. There is the earth cycling around the sun, the moon around the earth. There are the cycles of days, weeks, months, seasons and years. In mathematics there is the Golden Ratio which is expressed in nature in the arrangement of parts like leaves, branches, shells, and even our cells out to our limbs and further to all growth in a cyclical nature, spiraling outward like the Fibonacci spiral. (Yes, I've been studying in my free time as I travel.) These cyclical patterns allows an organism to grow without changing shape.We are made of the same elements as the stars and we find patterns to understand our lives. We look to nature to see these patterns expressed and try to understand the changes inside and outside of us.

Songkran, the Thai new year commences with the rebirth of the astrological cycle starting with the Sun in Aries in April.The celebration is rich in symbolic traditions, visiting local temples, offering food to Buddhist monks. Pouring water on Buddha statues is an iconic ritual for the holiday and represents purification and washing away sins and bad luck. Thais will come home if they have moved far away and their are traditions of paying respect to ones ancestors Water is a great symbolism for rebirth and cleansing in many different cultures. From baptism to the imagery of the lotus rising up from muddy water, to the use of water to daily clean ourselves. We grow as humans from our mother's water and our bodies are composed of 50-60% water. Perhaps water rituals not only wash away but also reminds us of our natural human state, cycling back.

And so, for 5 days Kelly and I got soaked. I had 2 small water guns and Kelly had a big one that unfortunately after one go had a constant spray, the trigger had broken. It was a lot of fun to play fight, to become like children and interact with everyone in a big game.We also visited different wats each day and participated in those ancient rituals and we got blessed by monks. After a week in Chiang Mai we journeyed north to Pai.

Before I left for Thailand everyone told me I must go to Pai and that I would love Pai. And it's true I love Pai. They say Pai moves at it's own time and pace and lets the world come to it. If Chiang Mai was a cleansing water fight, Pai was a place to find tranquility, reflect and find a new rhythm. In face we stayed in a place called The Place of Tranquility, Thailand has some amazing names for things. Kelly had been previously in Rishikesh in India doing her teacher training in Ashtanga yoga, so she guided us daily in yoga practice and in turn I guided Kelly in meditation practice.We motorbiked through the hills of Pai, soaked in the hot springs, explored the walking market, took a cooking class and ate delicious food.And then Kelly left for the south to continue on her path solo. I stayed for another week in Pai; studying more about astrology, anatomy and my emotions and my patterns. I looked at the cycles of my life. I felt the depths of longing for something similar, something comfortable, for family and companionship all while celebrating my independence and freedom of "viajo sola" travelling alone. I looked at my insecurities and patterns that no longer served me. As I went down in this cycle, I grasped and reached and tried with all my might and tools to reflect to grow and change these patterns. I decided to head back to Chiang Mai after a week and attend a Vipassana, a silent meditation with monks at the MCU University and I decided to go to Cambodia, explore the temples there and go to a yoga/meditation retreat.

One of my favorite Buddhist quotes is "before enlightenment chop wood carry water, after enlightenment, chop wood carry water." This quote reminds me that there is not an end point to our own personal "enlightenment". It's the cyclical action of nature and growth that reminds us to stay present and at times look at those questions we might not like. Or even those thoughts that plague our minds in their hamster wheel repetition. As I celebrated Songkran I meditated on my own thoughts... how I present myself, how I stay grounded as I travel throughout the world. How do I take care of myself in new situations with people and how my thoughts effect me and my spiritual life. It's not all happiness and rainbows when traveling. I've been extremely lucky and fortunate to have this time to travel and to reflect on my life, but it most definitely does not mean each day is bliss.

For me this cycle of growth has been a long one, trying to get that forward motion and energy. Sometimes it feels like I'm slipping back, but I trust that I am moving forward. At the Vipassana our meditations guided by Phra (monk) Sinlapachai Santikaro taught us to focus on our breath. To find that mindfulness or break of karma or balanced flow in Buddhism we look at the body, feelings and thought. By focusing on our breath we can let go of those harmful attachments or thoughts or actions. Phra said to acknowledge the thoughts, identify them as just thoughts to release attachments or emotions to them, and always to come back to the breath. To let go of patterns we forgive, forget and let go and focus on the breath.The cycle of in and out, the breath that connects us to nature, to ourselves and that helps us understand patterns and cycles of life.


Today I leave Thailand. There are children screaming in the internet game shop I am in, so hopefully I'm not repeating myself and hopefully, dear reader you can understand my words. My hope in writing this post and this blog is to express my experiences, to connect with you dear reader, to let you know that you aren't alone, but you are also alone in that only you breathe your breaths. I hope to share what has inspired me as I travel, that there is beauty and nature all around that wants to help us grow. And that no matter what you believe in, no matter how you tell your story that there is something that connects us... even if it's just a cycle of breath.

Diving In: Koh Lanta, Phi Phi, Phuket & Khao Lak

My best friend gave me the journal I write in as I travel.  It has a picture of a mermaid on the front with the caption "I must be a mermaid, I have no fears of depths and a great fear of shallow living."

I took a ferry to Koh Lanta, the sea is beautiful blue green with a hint of brown and the coastline is unlike any I have seen before with the limestone cliffs covered with green fauna jutting out of the sea.  Koh Lanta is called the lucky island because during the tsunami of 2004 there were few casualties. My friends Frankie and James lived in Koh Lanta during that time.  James had been out diving when it happened and he didn't know about the tsunami until hours later when they got to land. (Frankie was of course worried about him the entire time.) When I lived in Honduras I heard an earthquake underwater. It sounded like the loudest crunching noise, sort of like loud crunching of plastic or bones. I looked around to see if my divers were ok, they all were fine. I glanced at the surface to see if there was any motion above, there wasn't any. And forgot about it until a few hours later when someone who had been on land had felt the shift. The divers and I had forgotten about the earthquake because we had a great encounter with a free swimming moray eel that had been very interested in one of the diver's flashlight from his go pro. I'm still on the fence with the go pros but they do offer an amazing view.


In Koh Lanta, I stayed at a quiet and cute hostel called Seahorse on the waterfront. The owner Nui was so sweet and we quickly became friends. Mostly we would talk about the weather and how hot we were. Sometimes it was about food, and she tried to help me get a job in diving.

The plan was to stay in Koh Lanta and finish the diving season (about a month) as a freelancer. I walked around distributing my number and name. The shops were all very interested and helpful, but then I realized my big mistake. I did not have my own gear, and without my own gear I would be unemployable- no matter my personality, experience diving or proficiency in 2 languages. Oh well, live and learn. But I did end up diving. I paid to dive 3 dives off of Phi Phi.

One thing I learned quickly about diving in Thailand was that it was a different kind of diving, more mass produced and not as planned out or mindful of preservation and safety that I had been used to.  Our first dive was to a wreck. There were about 20 divers on the boat and all divided into groups of 4. We dropped in and there was an extremely strong current. After about 30 minutes the other two divers in our group had to surface because they were running low on air. My buddy, a french dive instructor and I stayed down finding that sweet spot between the massive schools of fish where little effort was made to fight the current. After we surfaced, my buddy remarked to me that everyone else on the dive now had cuts on their bodies and were bleeding from bumping into the wreck. I looked at him and said "Shark bait?", half joking and of course a bit worried about the irresponsibility of bring novices to an advanced dive and the impact on nature.

For the next dive our divemaster briefed us about Sharks! how they are very shy and how to maneuver around them and not mess with their patterned swimming so that everyone could see the sharks. But it seemed we were the only ones who got this briefing. I saw the 3 nurse sharks I saw a diver from another group following the sharks in hopes of getting that picture on his go pro. All in all, they were great dives. It's always good to get my head underwater and clear out and relax.The abundance of nature in Thailand is more than any other place I have dove.

Each day in Koh Lanta I rented a bike and explored the beaches. I fell in love with the chill atmosphere and beautiful beaches, but it was a bit too hot. After a day of biking to my favorite beach of all in Thailand (Klong Klong) I had a bit of severe dehydration. Of course I didn't know it right away. My head hurt so bad and felt on fire, much like when I had malaria years ago. I couldn't keep any food down and wanted to vomit after eating. I drank water and wanted to vomit. But then I remembered that the water in Thailand is distilled, no minerals and the lack of minerals was making my body freak out. Luckily the solution was just a 7Eleven away. (Have I mentioned there are 7Elevens everywhere in Thailand?)

As I healed myself with coconut water and electrolyte packets I spent time chatting with family and best friends. One of my best friends has been struggling with a confusing disease and hasn't been able to get any answers, it worries me a lot to see her in pain but also it's frustrating that there isn't an answer. No where she has asked over the course of 5 years has she found an answer, and to make matters worse she gets new pills to solve the problems. The pills that unfortunately don't actually heal the problem but mask it and make other issues come up. As I was worrying about her I came to this realization that I have a passion for how the body works and how to heal it. I love yoga, and meditation, I have been getting into anatomy and nutrition over the years and I really love helping people feel better. I like the process of figuring out what the problems are and how to solve them, it's fascinating and like a mystery. But also can be very simple in how it all works- mind body and soul and in Ayurveda a huge part is digestion. A few years ago, thanks to google, I started a cleanse (that I researched and kind of made up myself) based on the teachings of Ayurveda. Ayurveda- the science of life and about 5000 years old. And so, as I was healing myself I came to a new path, one that I am already on and learning about Ayurveda. Maybe some day I will become an Ayurvedic Practitioner. It will probably take a lifetime to master and it's a good thing I have a life and time.


Back to another passion- diving. As I was chilling, recovering and contemplating my friend Robin messaged me that she was coming to Thailand. She had to take an English exam, a requirement for a residency in another country- which is kind of crazy since her first language is English and she's from the USA, but I was very excited she was coming. And she'd be in Thailand for my birthday. And she wanted to go diving- to the Similan Islands. The Similan Islands where my friend Frankie told me was the best place to dive in all of Thailand. And so, Robin and I booked a live aboard for the Similan Islands for my birthday- 5 days and 4 nights.

So I left Koh Lanta, it's beautiful chill beaches and Muslim thais for the hectic and wild Phuket with tourists from around the world. Bright lights and loud noises. I spent two quick days in Phuket and then Robin and I met up and traveled north to Khao Lak. Khao Lak has a similar feel to the place we first met- West End, Roatan, Honduras. Since Khao Lak is the jumping off point for the Similan and Surin Islands there are numerous diveshops on the one lane road. The dive community is part party, part chill, part adventure and part naturalist. Robin and I had a blast; we shared dive stories, travel stories, boy stories, and we laughed and ate and went into 7Eleven just for the air conditioning and amazement of it's products. And of course, we went diving!!

The Dolphin Queen MV was our home for those 4 nights and we dove, ate, dove, ate, slept, dove, ate, dove and then slept. On repeat. We were off to the Similan Islands, once 7 islands now 9 and Richelieu Rock, discovered by the great Jacques Cousteau. Since we were the most advanced on board (Robin is an instructor to my divemaster) we were paired up with other advanced divers- an Italian couple, who were adorable and constantly bumping into each other underwater and had only one sign for communication underwater (which if you know Italians you know what it is), and there was a guy who I can only call Dude Bro. Dude Bro immediately acted like a loud mouthed american dude bro, I told Robin "Maybe he'll be our best friend after the trip?"in a hopeful optimistic way. Dude Bro had higher accreditation in PADI (Staff Instructor) and had more dives than Robin and I, and I knew all this because he told everyone onboard within the first few hours. He was super excited about diving, diving is his life, diving is his thing... but his diving left much to be desired. And here's a quick story about Dude Bro and how I got into a fight with him underwater.

Our divemaster was from Mexico, was an expert at finding small things (skeleton shrimp, nudibranchs, seahorse, the smallest starfish I've ever seen and a pineapple fish) and big things. One of the dives he took us on an adventure to find a something big. Through a crazy current we got a glimpse of a sleeping Leopard Shark. It was so cool and Dude Bro took up the prime watching spot and camera angle for the entire time we were down there and of course kicked a lot of coral. Not cool of a professional for an organization that preaches about awareness of others and preservation. The next dive was a night dive, wanting to stay a bit away from him and also to find things on our own Robin and I ventured a little farther off. At one point I glanced back to find our group and saw (gasp!) Dude Bro holding a Porcupine Fish from it's belly. The fish seemed startled but in a trance. The Porcupine Fish, with his needles puffs out when in danger or fear as a defense mechanism that can also end the fishes life in some cases. Also, you don't touch the nature especially when it is in a protected marine park. I was shocked and when Dude Bro let the fish go, I swam up to him and gave him my No signal (waving that finger back and forth), to which Dude Bro gave me the finger and swam off. I was livid. Luckily Robin was there to remind me to breathe, my heart was racing. I cooled down. After the dive I told the divemaster what had happened. Then as we were taking off our gear and Dude Bro came up to me and yelled at me telling me that he didn't know who I was but I have no right in telling him what he can and can't do. Luckily he didn't talk to me for the rest of the trip and got changed to a different group of divers. I was upset, as I'm not the best at confrontation but I know I did the right thing. The next day was my birthday and I had great dives and every single dive I saw an octopus and hundreds of barracuda, a cake was made for me and people sang happy birthday, twice.

After the live aboard, we lived on land in Khao Lak until Robin left for Europe. We did another few dives with an older German in a loose speedo on a longtail boat, which was just a bit unfortunate and not so nice to look at. We also met a guy who asked us when we were going to get "real jobs and real lives"to which we both looked confused at him and said this is our "real"life. After I told the guy my age he actually was shocked and a bit speechless.


For me, my life is about experiencing. Being in nature and traveling help me experience it in my own way. Everyone has their "real"lives, just as everyone has their own way of diving (if they dive), their own personalities and needs and wants. Diving became my passion because first of the adventure of it, then came the beauty, with the quietness and I love the way the water engulfs me like a hug. All senses are alert. I love finding cool things big and small, watching interactions, I love all of the colors. And I still love the adventure of it, the exploration like Jacques Cousteau.

Diving requires one to be present. To simply be, to breathe and observe. One thing we can all use a bit of now and then. To be, to breathe and observe.

From Krabi to Tonsai: Tiger Temple and Hippie Town

Krabi is a welcome break from the excess materialism of Bangkok.  Taking an overnight bus with a little blue pill, I awoke in Krabi. At the bus station I took another bus into town, after realizing it would be too hot and too far with my bag and I arrived at Blue Juice hotel.  The ever helpful Neung, owner, set me up in a pink room with a fan. Krabi Town with it's cute little stores, sleepy atmosphere during the day and bustling night market on the river and the longtail boats in the river.

"They say a dream is like a river, ever changing as it flows" and so I flowed quiet nicely in Krabi for one night. In the morning I climbed the1260 steps to the tiger temple, just outside of the town. Perspective. From the top of the mountain sits a golden Buddha.  Looking out around in 360 degrees to the sea, farm land and the limestone mountains in the distance. As I sat before the Golden Buddha, one of the temple dogs came to give me love and sat next to me as I soaked in the moment covered in sweat. After a photo session with some monkeys in the trees behind the Buddha, I descended step by step back to the Wat (temple) below.

In the courtyard of the Wat was a great statue of the goddess Kuan Yin, the goddess of compassion.  She loomed over me with her blue vase ever flowing with limitless compassion for all. Then I followed the signs into the jungle that said "wonderland".

Into wonderland and there I found a half dome cave.  One that I immediately recognized for a dream I had years ago. I had the dream over the course of a few nights, and it was so unique that I was transported to the dream again. I felt awakened and saw it in a different viewpoint that before.  In the dream, I was with a group of people. It was a time of great flux. My companion and I had gone to the cave for safe harbor. It felt like the uncertainty had to do with a natural disaster, a prophesy coming true. When we got to the cave my companion told me he was leaving. I tried to convince him not to go but, he left. Then there was a big flash of light. And then, I went out into the jungle to find him, but he was gone. I returned to the cave, missing my companion but still with a will that we would meet again.

Back at the cave I realized something I had missed years before when trying to decipher the meaning of the dream. I thought my companion had left me, abandoned me when I needed him most. But now, taking my own path to this cave I came to a realization I have known all along. The Buddha talks a lot about suffering, how the root of attachment is suffering and how no one can save us but ourselves. We alone heal ourselves. We each walk our path alone. We each have our own hole of suffering and no one person can make that suffering less. I've always been around good people who I love and love me, but still at times can feel alone. As I sat at the cave, thinking how much I had grown since that dream. There were expectations that didn't come to fruition, people I let down and people who "let" me down. And as at I sat at the cave I realized once again, it all ok, it's part of me and my story, we just all have our own path and can have a bit of Kuan Yin compassion for each others paths and for ourselves and forgiveness. Then a black cat came up and snuggled with me. The tiger temple, the tiger caves where tigers had once lived with monks. Pretty magical.

From Krabi, I headed to Railay. "Go to the beach, walk through the jungle and you'll find Tonsai." Tired from the Tiger Temple, boat trip and heat, I walked to the beach and began my ascent up into the jungle. Then I met Stan. Stan, being the man offered to carry my bag through the jungle and showed me how to get to Tonsai. My mind and body racing and hot, a bit of overheating I rushed to the beach after finding a place to stay. The water was warm, but I found shade and slept. I needed more sleep, my head still hurt. dehydrated. The next day, I found my second home in Tonsai, a bungalow on stilts more in the jungle. For the next few days I enjoyed the beauty of Tonsai, it's community of rock climbers and hippies from all around the globe. I reflected on life and my path, looked at the emotions I no longer wished to carry. I ate well and got massages, I meditated and did the circle hike from Tonsai to Railay to Tonsai. I swam in the ocean and chose my next destination.  Koh Lanta.

Tonsai is a happy village, it's like living in a festival. Artists draw and paint on the concrete wall that separates Tonsai from the beach.The graffiti artists write inspiring, funny or weird messages to one another. The Rock Climbers with their rock solid bodies, torn up and and thirst to summit talk about their climbs and experiences and sometimes complain. But tomorrow is another day, and they will climb higher, they will over come the mountain.



And then after a healing few days in Tonsai and the jungle, I headed south to Koh Lanta. Nicknamed the lucky island because during the last tsunami very few were injured or killed. Looking for the luck of finding a job diving or possibly finding something more.

Bangkok Dreams

Bangkok is like a dream, the culmination of dreams of all beings.  It seems you can get anything you want here, in abundance (except good Mexican food or so I hear).

One of my first days in the city I walked around a park at sunset.  There was a lake with a fountain that no longer works.  People were jogging, doing exercises and chilled out around the lake.  As the sun set a beautiful glow hit the air and a mantra song for the king was played on a loud speaker.  People stood up if sitting, stopped mid motion with their exercises and jogging and just stood still throughout the song.  It was if time had stopped. The buzzing of park paused, paying homage to the king and the kingdom and then just a suddenly the frenzy began again.

I journeyed further into the park.  The next scene was 6 kids dancing on a stage to stanky leg, nay nay.  The 6 became one with their break dance routine.  When the song suddenly stopped there was clapping and then the song and routine began again. Play, pause, rewind and play.

I am an outsider to this dream, but still a part of it. My dreams sometimes be quiet vivid.  Colors, sounds and sometimes strong smells and once in a while when I am very lucky laughter- so much that I figure my sleeping body must be laughing too.  Sometimes my dreams are darker. Fears, repetitions or things I have forgotten are shown to me.  I am getting better at stopping the dream, telling myself this is a dream and when I am really lucid I will the thing I've forgotten to be here now or I simply wake up.  In waking life I look at those repetitions and the fears embedded in them, examine the emotion.  I decide if it's my fear and if so I meditate on releasing it.


I am slowly learning basic Thai.  Hello, thank you, I like it very much, a little sugar and counting to ten always makes me laugh. Nung, song, saam, si, ha (it's always ha that gets me going), hooak, jet (smile coming on), pbaat (a bit confused on the sound of the pb), gow (laughing again) and sip.  I have heard that thai is like a song.  A sing song rhythm with words and phrases my ears are gasping to decipher in thin air.

Bangkok is a huge city. The flow of walking is so much like my old home years ago- New York City, but unlike NYC Bangkok has a better walking flow.  The people are smaller than Americans, but there are so many people. Maybe because of their multitudes, walking is more like floating and flowing with the traffic.  People are more aware of their space and others. They seem more awake to others and their surrounding. This awareness adds to this floating flowing walking meditation.


Traffic can become a nightmare.  Luckily I was never stuck for too long in a car and perhaps because I drove a van for a few years I am ok with life in the slow lane.

My first day in Bangkok I took the fast lane.  I went to see my friend Ya in another part of town.  I was staying in the infamous Khasan Road and he lives near a place called Fortune Teller.  For the experience, thrill and time management (it was that witching hour of mass transition know as rush hours) I (with Ya's help) found a motorcycle. I bobbed and weaved thru the traffic as the sun was setting and luckily the driver was bigger than me and had amazing spacial skills.  It was like flying thru traffic. A certain freedom with an element of fear.

Ya told me Thailand is a very spiritual place. I already was aware of it being a Buddhist country, but it's deeper than that with many customs that are new and vast superstition.  The attention to the detail of everything doesn't escape superstitions and spiritual practices.  Ya introduced me to spirit houses and why they are on almost every city block or parcel in Bangkok. The spirit houses give space for those lost spirits still holding on to this life, yet in between worlds. These little temples are adorned with marigolds and jasmine, sometimes fanta or rice has been laid out for these lost souls. The idea is for a special place for these lost ones, so that they interfere less with the waking reality of Thai life.

No, I haven't seen any spirits with my eyes, but I can feel their energy.  Much like a dream when a face appears but it doesn't match who that face represents, or the coldness in air, a pocket of air that feels different, or that quietness in a bustling street.  I am practicing awareness of these beautiful spirit houses, gently bowing to acknowledge them and see the beautiful Ganesh, Buddha or Shiva statues that can accompany them.  Recognizing something outside of myself is always a good practice and seeing the beautiful marigolds and jasmine flowers in a concrete jungle. There are flowers everywhere, just like all my favorite cities.

There is everything everywhere in Bangkok. Abundance and whatever you want and however much you want to pay. Looking for incense to cover up a stinky room took me less than a half a block to find.  I thought of it and it appeared. Walking the streets they sell everything you could possibly want or need.  Cats on a bag, cats on underwear, cats on purses? plenty of them and sometimes a mere 5 stalls away. (And yes there are so many cats in Bangkok- they are treated there is the belief they are the protectors of this world and beyond.) I also saw handguns for sale next to those cat bags, a bit disturbing but I continued on.

And sex, sex everywhere, you want? You have.  From street stalls full of play toys to prostitutes at all times of the day- to the 3rd sex- ladyboys- who I have just begun to recognize. Sex clubs and massage parlours with the occasion "no sex" "massage only" "no happy ending" signs attached. I watch my reaction to this different expression of sex.  And yes I have gotten massages (not that kind of course but the real deal- the Thai Massage) and quite a bit of them.  For about $6 an hour my body is happy -yet sometimes sore as these little ladies climb on top of me, standing and stretching my body. And it feels like a dream. Not painful but more awakening parts of my body.


One night in Bangkok, 4 of us went to Arabic town and had Egyptian food, because why not?  The spice road is alive and well with oils, caradmon, smells, gold and silver, silk items and anything you might want from another part of the world.  It's all here in Bangkok.

Bangkok is so different than the Caribbean and Latin countries I have lived in.  As a female fulong I move floating, almost invisible at times. Unless I am interested in buying something in this mysterious and overwhelming city I am left to my own journey.  It feels different and good, but not lonely at all.  In Havana, where I traveled last year I remember stopping almost every block and speaking with locals, practicing my Spanish- it's more reserved and shy in Thailand.


As I travel,  am reminded of all those beautiful souls I have encountered along the way.  There are adverts here to heal anything that ails you. And I wonder if these dream concoctions might heal those in pain far away from here. And gently wondering at times what it all means. And then I slip back into the Thai dream and experience it.  I am so thankful for this experience and those i meet along the way. I am grateful for those that believe in my dream and those who continue to follow their dreams as well.

Time in Cuba and Roatan

Time is a funny thing.  It speeds up and then slows down.  A moment can last a lifetime.  A look in someone's eyes as you close the door on them or the gaze into another’s eyes as you see recognition and connection.  While diving a 45 minute dive can seem forever or be over way too quickly.  A moment snorkeling with dolphins in the open water can last a lifetime. These last two months on Roatan have been infinitely long and terribly short.  I kept meaning to write, but time slipped into the future.

I got older this last month.  I had a wonderful birthday.  I went with my birthday buddy Max on his first dive.  I was surrounded with amazing people and got to hear from friends and family.

Also, I moved into my 3rd place in Roatan, back to West End.  And as my 3rd month here came to an end, I needed to leave the country to renew my visa.  My plan was to go to Guatemala.  See Copan along the way to Antigua, San Marcos and finally to Tikal.  But anyone who knows me knows plans can change in a moment’s notice.  As I was sitting at my friend's tattoo shop a yogini came in (they do yoga at the tattoo shop naturally).  The yogini was talking about her upcoming trip to Cuba since there was a time limited direct flight from Roatan to Cuba.  Cuba, I've always wanted to go to Cuba.

So I went to Cuba 3 days later.  Cuba, where time stands still yet is moving forward at a rate unknown.  Stepping into Cuba was like stepping into the past.  Streets were filled with beautifully colored vintage cars.  Colonial buildings crumbling in majestic watercolors, street corridors went on forever until they hit the sea and people filled the streets.

Cuba is her people.  My waking hours were filled with meandering through the 2 cities (Habana and Trinidad), going to galleries, reading "Islands in the Stream", eating, listening to music, a little dancing and conversing with Cubans.  In Habana, I sat with a bike-taxi business owner for a couple hours.  In Trinidad, I celebrated a 54 yr old's birthday with a coffee, a climb to the church of San Francisco de Asis and a visit to a revolutionary museum.  I ate dinner with a girl my age at her "basic" (her words not mine) house with her family.  I stood in streets, cafes, restaurants and stoops talking to people about life- from the mundane, political, cultural and philosophical. I received relationship advice and a few offers of marriage.

If Habana was a 50's watercolor picture, Trinidad was stepping further into the past- a pastel version of it.  Trinidad was life through rose colored glasses. The first night walking through the streets I heard Edith Piaf's "La Vie en Rose" filtering through an open door.  I lingered outside until the song was over.  And then I saw the sign "Por el futuro del Pasado- Trinidad 500 anos."  For the future of the past. The second day in Trinidad I rented a bike and rode the 4 km through the countryside to a beach called Las Bocas.  There's so much more to explore of Cuba.  Someday, in the future, I will go back to Cuba and hope that the past will still linger romantically in the air.

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I recently spent 7 hours floating in the Caribbean waiting for a boat that had failed to come and pick us up after our dive.  4 of us went to the sea mounts, 25 miles off the coast of Roatan.  A seamount is a mountain rising from the ocean seafloor that does not reach the surface.  They are formed by extinct volcanoes.  This seamount was an unexplored on and it was a beautiful dive.  We did the dive according to plan and came up after 50 minutes to our surface marker.  No boat.  About 45 minutes later we saw a boat far away, our hopes soared but then we watched him circle around us and apparently didn't see us.  We attached 2 other lines to the sea mount after that as a safety precaution.  We floated on our dive gear in the open sea near the 3 markers.  Time stood still, there were frigates and boobies flying overhead, turtles swam and surfaced around us and small jellies floating all around us.  My roommate Mel and I said many times that it was a dream and that we would like to wake up now.  We consistently checked our watches about every hour to half hour; time ticked by and sped up.  An hour would fly by.  We discussed all possible options- whether to swim to shore (10+ hours away), what to do with switching currents and the possibility of spending the night in the open ocean.

The sun was setting.  I said "I think it's going to be a beautiful sunset" to which I received a few "shut ups".  The sunset was epically beautiful.  As the sunset, someone said "I don't think they are going to find us" to which I (in my most authoritative nanny voice) said "That is NOT going to happen.  Then moments later Mel said "There's a boat, I'm not joking there's a boat!"  As the sun set we saw a boat, the boat was perfectly circled by the sun as it was sinking into the ocean.  The boat was coming directly towards our GPS coordinates that had been left with the owner of the boat.  We were exactly where we were supposed to be, sunburnt and dehydrated.  I never thought for one moment that we wouldn't be found and that nothing aside from a few jelly fish stings.  I was fully present in those 7 hours and they passed by quickly.  It seemed that it wasn't long at all and eternity as well.

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Time depends on how we are connected to it.  The key is in the connection- with ourselves, with others, and with the world around us.  The type of connection is how we react, act and perceive what is happening around us.